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Distressed; possibly going insane. Help me.


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#1 Dion

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Posted 03 June 2011 - 10:58 PM

Okay. I have no one to tell this to, and I might as well put this out there for some advice. I'll remove this information at a later time.

4 months ago, my brother was applying to colleges. Naturally, he needed some tax papers and stuff, and my dad was responsible for it. My dad was fully aware of this. Yet, he did not file the taxes. Instead, hes been having this friendship with a woman that has been increasing greatly over the past 5 years. He was helping her pay her taxes by giving money out his own pocket. Now, my mom got ear of this. She confronted my dad, and asked him about it. My brother and I were present at the location. Upon being question, my dad went ballistic and started abusing my mother. My brother and I jumped the ∞∞∞∞er's ass, beating him down. We over powered him, until he grabbed a vase from the side table and hurled it into my head, breaking it completely (Minor injuries). At this point, he pushed my brother away, and tried to gauge his eyes out, resulting in him tearing off quite a bit of the flesh under his eyes. Scars still there. I took my mom and sister and locked them safely in the room, and returned to confront him with my brother. The fight ended verbally, thank god. I would have killed him that night.

At this point, he says hes going to call the police on us and have us arrested for abuse. We pointed out that we were the ones injured and he would never get the benefit. Meanwhile, my mom calls his parents and tells them of the situation. Naturally, he cussed out his parents when they called him, and told them to leave him alone.

He refuses to file the divorce papers, since hes too much of a ∞∞∞∞∞ to. If he takes the thing to court, I'll reveal the video I recorded him beating my brother. My mom can't do anything since hes cut off all forms of her transportation by taking her car. If we call the police or take the case to court, he threatens to end all forms of financial support. My mom is a house wife. Enough said.

So now, he refuses to talk to talk to my mom, me and my siblings. Its been 4 months, we've been living under the same roof. Ive not talked to him since that night.

After that, hes extended his relationship with the before mentioned woman to sexual extent. I know this because I have access to his phone bill, which tell me where he makes his calls from and where he receives them. Unfortunately for him, I can also see his texts online because he uses a cheap textfree service or some shit. Suggestive material there too. My mom knows about this relationship and its killing her. (I dont know why she loves him) Shes literally crazy by now, and I think my stamina is running out too.

Tell me what the ∞∞∞∞ I should do.


#2 Xanius

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Posted 03 June 2011 - 11:26 PM

That's some really deep shit. I can't really even begin to think of the emotions involved with this.

There's a few things that can be done really. I mean... with the way things seem to be going, it's only a matter of time before he ups and leaves anyway and just goes with this other woman. I'm not sure what he's waiting on really. But the way it seems to me is that after whatever it is he's waiting on, he'll just leave and leave you all stranded.

Since your mom doesn't work and I suppose she hasn't gone to college for some sort of degree(?) She might be able to get financial help for various things. I'd be correct to assume she'd still be supporting you and your brother for time, right? She could claim you two along with your sister depending on age, as dependent's under her. There's food stamps as well. Gives 500 dollars or so for a family of four I believe.

I'd say to look into a few things that your state has set up for financial aid. If things do get taken to court, your father would have to pay some sort of money be the way. If your brother goes to college and until you are 18/end up in college, you both get child support from him. Which can be anywhere from 300 a month to a few thousand.


I believe, if you were to take this to court, you would get a very, very large sum on money from this. Not only did he threaten you, not only did he abuse you, but he's cheating in a marriage. That alone will make a judge side with your mother and give her money. Add in the video you have and what else you might have, texts and such take screencaps of them and save them somewhere, even if it's on photobucket or tinypic. Erase all history of them etc etc.


I know the situation is really messed up and beyond really any talking on the fathers side. I really do wish you the best in this and hope you will be alright though it.

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#3 Dion

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Posted 04 June 2011 - 11:28 PM

That's some really deep shit. I can't really even begin to think of the emotions involved with this.

There's a few things that can be done really. I mean... with the way things seem to be going, it's only a matter of time before he ups and leaves anyway and just goes with this other woman. I'm not sure what he's waiting on really. But the way it seems to me is that after whatever it is he's waiting on, he'll just leave and leave you all stranded.

Since your mom doesn't work and I suppose she hasn't gone to college for some sort of degree(?) She might be able to get financial help for various things. I'd be correct to assume she'd still be supporting you and your brother for time, right? She could claim you two along with your sister depending on age, as dependent's under her. There's food stamps as well. Gives 500 dollars or so for a family of four I believe.

I'd say to look into a few things that your state has set up for financial aid. If things do get taken to court, your father would have to pay some sort of money be the way. If your brother goes to college and until you are 18/end up in college, you both get child support from him. Which can be anywhere from 300 a month to a few thousand.


I believe, if you were to take this to court, you would get a very, very large sum on money from this. Not only did he threaten you, not only did he abuse you, but he's cheating in a marriage. That alone will make a judge side with your mother and give her money. Add in the video you have and what else you might have, texts and such take screencaps of them and save them somewhere, even if it's on photobucket or tinypic. Erase all history of them etc etc.


I know the situation is really messed up and beyond really any talking on the fathers side. I really do wish you the best in this and hope you will be alright though it.



Thats the problem. We'll never have enough money. When my parents got married, my dad made ALL of the credit cards ever made in our house to my mom's name. Now, basically, if they divorce, SHES in debt. He's home free. That makes things even more complicated. Hes running a limo company with those cards. You can imagine how much money is on those cards. -_-


#4 Bunny

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Posted 05 June 2011 - 12:02 AM

So cancel the cards. If they are in her name then she can remove him from them. Remove him for the cards, cancel his so the debt doesn't get higher. That will at least help keep it form piling up, and after that don't buy anything unless you have the cash to do so. My parents made the same mistake with credit cards, they got too much debt so they cancelled the cards and payed in cash so now we can pay off the old debt without accruing more.

And as for lack of cash currently I'd have to agree with Avalon, food stamps as well as the money you can get out of him. Also food banks would help, any food you don't have to buy is money save towards bills. Start finding clothes in thrift stores also as that can cut back to school clothes down by a couple hundred bucks depending on where you shop. Also if you coupon you can cut your grocery bill down by a lot if you know how to work the system.

Also what it may come down to is depending on your age you getting a part time job or a summer job. Same with your brother, he may be going into college but he can get a job on the weekends and in between classes to help pay off debts and pay bills. You mom will probably have to get her degree if she doesn't have one already. If she doesn't I'd recommend an online degree, if she does I'd recommend she use it fast.

Also, if/when she does get the divorce, make sure you mom files for a restraining order against him. Same for you and your siblings.

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If I’ll upset the status quo
If I throw poison in the water main




Revenge is the poison we drink expecting our enemies to die.

#5 Dion

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Posted 07 June 2011 - 07:14 PM

I've found out that my dad is trynna meet up with this woman tomorrow. My mom knows about it too. I don't know what the ∞∞∞∞ to do. Should I sabotage the meeting? Should I wait it out? Help me. -_-

#6 Blade

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Posted 07 June 2011 - 07:53 PM

I would take this to court not only will he not be in your life anymore but he will have to send out a check every month or week whichever the judge decides and in your case
( since you say you have abusive recordings ) your mom will get a pretty good deal out of it. Karma is a ∞∞∞∞∞ and he will get his ass handed to him by god, maybe not right away but god see's everything. As for the woman she might not even know that he has kids or that he's even married I would get in contact with the woman and confront her. You never know it could be the best thing even if it mean's pissing off your dad. Which let's face it he doesn't seem like a dad so ruin his ass until he begs for forgiveness for not having anybody anymore.

a>


#7 Dion

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Posted 07 June 2011 - 07:58 PM

I would take this to court not only will he not be in your life anymore but he will have to send out a check every month or week whichever the judge decides and in your case
( since you say you have abusive recordings ) your mom will get a pretty good deal out of it. Karma is a ∞∞∞∞∞ and he will get his ass handed to him by god, maybe not right away but god see's everything. As for the woman she might not even know that he has kids or that he's even married I would get in contact with the woman and confront her. You never know it could be the best thing even if it mean's pissing off your dad. Which let's face it he doesn't seem like a dad so ruin his ass until he begs for forgiveness for not having anybody anymore.


Pfft. He won't have to give shit. My brother is an adult, and I'm soon to become one. Most aid will be only to my mom and my sister. As for the woman, he'll just find another one. I'm thinking of sitting this out till I pass out of college and then suing him for anything I can get my hands on, including mental torture and physical abuse.


#8 Blade

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Posted 07 June 2011 - 08:01 PM



Pfft. He won't have to give shit. My brother is an adult, and I'm soon to become one. Most aid will be only to my mom and my sister. As for the woman, he'll just find another one. I'm thinking of sitting this out till I pass out of college and then suing him for anything I can get my hands on, including mental torture and physical abuse.


Your mom and sister are really going to get a pretty penny if they do go for the divorce. And when I say a pretty penny I mean a prettttty penny. My heart goes out to you and your family and just know god see's everything. I would still email that woman or something because she may have no clue.

a>


#9 Dion

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Posted 07 June 2011 - 08:05 PM

Filing the divorce papers isn't in my hands. And if I try to talk to the woman, she will just tell him, and that will just escalate problems, especially if she gives him my number or something.

#10 Blade

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Posted 07 June 2011 - 08:12 PM

Filing the divorce papers isn't in my hands. And if I try to talk to the woman, she will just tell him, and that will just escalate problems, especially if she gives him my number or something.


Sometimes you have to take thing's in your own hands, Sit your mother down and give her a heart to heart talk and tell her SHE NEEDS to do this. SHE DESERVES better.

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#11 Bunny

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Posted 07 June 2011 - 09:33 PM

I agree with Blade, your mom needs to get a divorce otherwise things will only get worse. If she is waiting for her beloved husband to come back to her I doubt she will be getting her fairy tail ending. And even if he does come back she will only end up suffering more abuse and watch her children suffer abuse. Someone needs to talk to your mother and tell her that she needs to snap out of it and do what is best for her and her children. And if she doesn't listen to reason use guilt if necessary to get your family out of this situation.

In regards to the meeting, do NOT sabotage it! The best thing would actually be to keep compiling evidence, save all the texts and phone messages and the call logs. But also if possible go to the meeting place and get some pictures. If you can prove that he is having an affair it would probably help your case if she does file for divorce or if she decides to sure him for abuse. Also if you decide to file when you turn 18 you can still use that evidence depending on the circumstances.

I wish you all the best and hope this gets resolved. I really don't like the idea of you and your family being in harms way just because some jerk has decided that he wants to go through a midlife crisis.

Kingdom-Gaming, where up is down, down is triangle, and everybody hates Lexaeus.


Any dolt with half a brain
Can see that humankind has gone insane
To the point where I don’t know
If I’ll upset the status quo
If I throw poison in the water main




Revenge is the poison we drink expecting our enemies to die.