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Feeling like shite lately.


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#1 Dexel Hydagara

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Posted 14 January 2012 - 01:02 AM

Alright, so I've lightly touched on this from time to time, but these past...~2 months I've been feeling horrid, to the best of my memory. For a rather long time now ( probably approaching a year now ), I've suspected I'm either depressive or bi-polar, but my memories of how I felt or act that far back are not with me. However, I get the feeling a good mess of things written in here apply to then as well.

I also think it's just gradually gotten worse with time, which is why I never bothered to remember before. Lemme give what I do know in a simpler form for me:

-Feeling depressed since around...~3 days before Christmas. No matter the time of day, if I'm just at home, I feel like crap. Even when I have something to do, I've just had no...gung-ho to go really do anything. I used to have semi-frequent times where I'd leave the house, but now I just remain cooped up in my room or the living room. Every time I get invited to be dragged along somewhere, I refuse. Heck, I didn't even feel like going to my dad's for this period of time as well, and normally I'm enthusastic about this sorta thing.

-Mood swings whenever someone talks to me. Except it's always the same thing. It's never from happy to sad or sad to happy, it's always sad/happy to angry. And I never, ever want to talk to anyone these days. In person, that is.

-Whenever I'm not doing something, I feel sleepy or sad. Never really enthusastic or excited unless it's stuff just about anyone would be estatic about - like seeing your girlfriend. Don't really laugh when watching those comedy movies I love so much, at most just dry chuckles. Some days I feel in a laughing mood, but that's once in a blue moon.

-Even when I'm here lately ( last couple of weeks ), the mood sinks right back in. The 3 days developing Kestel for WotS were riddled here and there with small pauses, but come time to make Bloodhound, that whole week I didn't feel like doing anything except moping around. Hell, even with Candice logged on today, I still had the same "meh" train of thought rather than get all hyped up like usual. This one actually does stick out because this is the place where I relax, where I told to people, where I joke, where I actually have friends, yet even here I can feel shitty.

-Been interfering with homework too. I can still get it done, but it takes me longer than usual or sometimes I just don't get it done for a good...month or so. Same applies for classwork in some of my less interesting classes, which are also ironically the ones with lightest amount of work.

-Loss of apitite. This one's been a bit on-and-off for a good while, but more often then naught I've been having a pretty small stomach. Usually you guys have multiple dishes for dinner, right? Not so for me lately. Just cook a small, medium-rare piece of steak and that's it for me. Brocolli/potatoes/etc. you can just forget about because I won't even bother to touch them, and the first plate is the last plate. Also, there are lots of days I don't get breakfast or lunch from school, and not just because of lack of things to eat that I like.


No events to really note that could be bringing me much stress aside from good ol' school. I eat semi-properly, drink lots of water, and get my sleep.

-x-

Alright...I'm done ranting. Say something if you like, I don't even really care. Say I should get checked out, say this is normal and why teenage years suck. This was just to...ah heck, I dunno why I'm even doing this. Whatever. :I

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#2 Lexaeus

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Posted 14 January 2012 - 01:08 AM

You suffer from depression, whether from events from your life or chemical imbalance in your body. Go see a doctor. That looks like a good step one. So go talk to your parents about how you think you are depressed. This is something your parents should know.

My thoughts and prayers for you. Let me know if I can help any other way.

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“Sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a bath and a glass of wine.” - Saint Thomas Aquinas


#3 Kingroy

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Posted 14 January 2012 - 01:16 AM

>.> I don't know if that's normal teenage stuff but I suggest you do whatever Lex said. Don't wanna let any issue slip and become major.

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#4 Lexaeus

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Posted 14 January 2012 - 01:25 AM

There are reasons why teenagers make a terrible choice and end their life. Dexel has so much potential and for depression to take that away, just no. People may seem troubled by your problems but I guarantee they rather know than not know. You see a problem and that is enough to get it checked out. It's affecting your life.

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“Sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a bath and a glass of wine.” - Saint Thomas Aquinas